Embracing Social Media in an Isolated World

Having Bipolar has turned me into a very private person and this has created a void in my life. There are times when I am happy to be left alone and simply not care about what the world is doing. There are other times when I feel lonely and isolated. This is where I desire to have a connection with people, want to feel less alone and crave the need for support and understanding.

Creating a blog dedicated to my illness was designed to help fill that void. Getting likes, comments and followers of my blog had it’s desired effect during the initial phase. Now I feel somewhat empty again. I have been too low in my mood to put something meaningful together in the hope that others will identify and appreciate what I have to say.

My last few posts have been dark and angry which relates to the way I’ve been feeling. The void and emptiness of not having people in my life continues to manifest though. I participate in a couple of mental health forums but sometimes I struggle to feel like I’m really heard.

I use the reader in wordpress to keep up with blogs I am following. As pathetic as this sounds, I am sometimes envious of people with regular likes and comments. The same applies to those who have Facebook and Twitter followers.

Today I have created a Facebook account and a Facebook page for Bipolar Beach with the hope that over time, this builds up to help fill the void of feeling lonely and isolated. The problem though is that I find it very difficult to share things personally about myself.

There is a mild acceptance of where I am at with my life in terms of having Bipolar, the medications I take to manage the illness, and the lifestyle I lead, despite all of this. However, there is a deep sadness within me that there are no people to talk to or hang out with. I guess there is added difficulty being in my mid thirties. People have come and gone. Others have settled into married life and are busy with raising kids and the rigors of everyday life.

The negative aspects of social media such as stalking and bullying have left me with the belief that living in anonymity is better than being vulnerable and exposed. It saddens me that tools designed to bring us closer together, can have such devastating effects. But I guess that comes down to the fact that there is always going to be bad people in the world. I am turning to social media to feel more connected and reduce the impact of the loneliness and isolation that comes with having a mental illness.

Another issue that I think about is finding love. Finding that one person who understands and accepts you for who you are. I seriously wonder if I’ll experience love again in my lifetime. I’m sometimes curious as to whether I can actually find the right person over the internet, but think this is probably a bit naive. There is also a part of me that thinks I’m better off not being in a relationship. At least during this phase of my life where things are more challenging than they should be.

I don’t spend the entire day on the internet but it is the first thing I do everyday. It helps me to feel calm and focused. I am returning to study in November and the degree I am pursuing will be done online. This fits well with my needs and lifestyle. I hope to meet some like minded people that will challenge and stimulate me, alongside the study content .

For now, I will continue on my mission of trying to feel better connected, despite living in isolation,

It might be only wishful thinking, but I hope you can support me on this journey.

4 comments on “Embracing Social Media in an Isolated World

  1. I can completely understand this post.

    Nearly half a decade of social isolation (and counting) and the online world is all I have, but even that is hard. Commenting on websites and blogs takes a *lot* out of me (it once took 9 days to leave a comment on a website, whilst last week I had responses to a comment I left and after a panic attack couldn’t reply to any of them!). Even Tweeting is difficult for me as it’s been so long since I had anyone in my life it’s as if I’ve forgotten how to communicate.

    It is however wonderful that you’re putting yourself out there, and don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll build a network soon enough 🙂

    I would follow your Facebook page but I disagree with Facebook in general and deleted my account years ago, so I have followed your blog instead 🙂

    • Thanks for your support Addy and hope you are doing okay my friend. Thanks for following. Your blog is an inspiration and I really hope good things come your way. The Facebook thing is weird. As is Twitter. I don’t have anything to post or share. Maybe with time, I might find it easier to open up, but I’m not really sure about it all at the present time. It is comfortable to post my thoughts and feelings here and receive some feedback, so thanks once again.

  2. Hi Anthony

    I just wanted to stop by and say that by leaving a comment on my blog the other day, you made me feel less isolated in the dilemma that I am currently facing.

    There is so much more I’d like to say in reply to this post, but my brain is so fuzzy right now it won’t let me write a coherent ressponse. That being said, I hope that I can still be considered as a part of your growing network here at Bipolar Beach (despite being one of those dreadful Americans over the border in NSW ;-)).

    All the best

    Kim 🙂

    • Hi Kim,

      Whether you are from NSW or Mexico, you are more than welcome here at anytime. I’m humbled to have made you feel less isolated, and really appreciate you supporting this Blog too. Thanks for commenting. I hope your head clears soon. I hate having those “fuzzy” days when concentration is such an effort.

      Take care.

      AS.

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