Blog for Mental Health 2013

blogformentalhealth20131winner

I pledge my commitment to the Blog For Mental Health 2013 Project.  I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others.  By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health.  I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.

I am linking this pledge back to A Canvas Of The Minds for giving me the inspiration to get on board with this wonderful initiative.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2006 at age 29. This came after years of knowing something was not right despite only being treated for Depression. It took a major manic episode and five weeks of hospitalization to receive a diagnosis. I continue to struggle with this disorder and some days are more difficult than others. I have just commenced a Bachelor of Psychology as I continue to try and rise up against this illness. I have been on Disability since mid 2011 and would one day like to be able to re-enter the workforce in some capacity. For now I am comfortable (albeit barely) with my studies, however would like to be well enough to take on some part-time work, hopefully in a community based role assisting people with disabilities. Bipolar can be a cruel and isolating existence, however I do take comfort in knowing that I am not alone and there are wonderful people out there who are fighting the same battles and doing well under less than ideal circumstances.

Blogging has given me a voice about my illness and I am grateful for the people that I connect with and able to touch through my writing. It is my hope that I can ride through the symptoms and episodes and try to help others along the way.

By taking this pledge I am committing to the fight to raise awareness for those affected by mental illness. I hope to reach more people and spread the word as my blog continues to evolve. I am also advocating for people with mental illness and their carers as part of this pledge.

In pledging five other bloggers, I would like to pay particular attention to the following bloggers:

Am I Nuts?

Bipolar 2 Dad

Weathering The Storm: Overcoming Bipolar Disorder

…on becoming a counsellor

and last but definitely not least:

All that I am, all that I ever was…Hope to see you back soon Addy!

I look forward to continuing to share my experiences as well as my ups and downs. On a personal note, I am at the closing stages of the semester with my studies. This blog will continue to remain quiet over the coming weeks, however, when I have a chance to breathe again, I look forward to posting an update on everything that’s been happening at Bipolar Beach.

Sending lots of love and support to everyone involved with this Blog and the readers who randomly stop by.

Be well and stay safe!

You’re Fired!

Dear Doctor Dickhead,

I am writing to express how appalled I am with your unprofessional conduct.

Since my last appointment with you five days ago, I have been angry and confused. How fucking dare you treat me like I am some sort of lost cause, when your fucking job is to provide suitable treatment and a duty of care. I thought we were in the process of fine tuning my medications (which as it turns out, needs a complete fucking overhaul). Instead, we decrease the frequency between appointments, and then you (much to my absolute surprise), tell me that you recommend a second opinion using the words ‘under these circumstances’.

UNDER WHAT FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCES EXACTLY?

I might have had the chance to ask about this in more detail, in addition to the changes in medication which began months ago. The opportunity may have been there if you weren’t so quick to finalize the appointment inside of five minutes, just because you thought my referral wasn’t current.

You are an absolute fucking disgrace to your profession, and do not deserve to be treating people who are not well, vulnerable and scared.

Should I remind you that the last two medications to be introduced were recommended by myself. That you failed to pick up on the ADHD component of my illness. Where is the duty of care, you worthless piece of shit.

Before and after my appointment, you showed more concern about making sure my referral was current. This was done back in June you INCOMPETENT FUCK!

Perhaps you are in the early stages of dementia. Reflecting on the past few months, it would certainly appear that something isn’t quite right. I have honestly and repeatedly told you exactly where I am, only to fall on deaf ears. I should have listened to my instincts right from the beginning when I had a hunch you had NO FUCKING IDEA!

Why on earth, when you said that anti-depressants are ‘evil’ when it comes to Bipolar Disorder, am I still on one? At half the dose I was on in the past! Why did you NOT continue to go down this path before recommending a second opinion? Why did you continually ignore the fact that Geoden/Zeldox was leaving me with an almighty hangover? Or that I am too scared to go to sleep at night due to the dread of the cycle repeating? What about my reservations to increase the dose of dexamphetamine due to insomnia?

Do you also remember the time you gave me a starter box that was one month out of date???

I feel sick to my stomach to have been sucked in by another incompetent hack, who has little to no regard for the well-being of their patients.

When describing my previous history during my first appointment with you, the only thing I remember is you gloating how much you and your bank manager appreciate people in my position. What the fuck? Who says that to a patient?

You should be ashamed of yourself and god only help those still under your care and supervision. As disgusted as I am with myself for believing you were actually trying to help me, I thank you for giving me an opportunity to now find somebody who actually gives a shit.

Oh how I would love to sue your sorry butt. Lucky for you I am not the litigious type. There is a different type of pain that will catch you eventually.

Go fuck yourself, and do take note: Karma will come knocking!